Starting the School Year

STARTING THE SCHOOL YEAR

CARES Programs & Resources

Tips to Start the School Year Off Right!

New Canaan CARES

Starting the school doesn’t need to be stressful for you and your family. These tips will help you start the school year right!

Additional Resources

7 Back-to-School Strategies to Help You Stress Less and Simplify Your Life

Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health

If you’re feeling some anxiety around the all the transitions, juggling, and driving that usually accompany a new school year, take a deep breath, pause, and consider the following ideas for a simpler, less stressful school year

I'm a Teacher - And This is What Parents Should Know

YourTeenMag.com

As a teacher of eight years and a parent to three sons, I get it. Parents crave more information about their kids. As an educator, this is what I wish parents knew about the daily life of most teens at school.

7 Things to Tell the Teacher About Your Child

Child Mind Institute

What can you tell a teacher that will help him do his job better? You might be surprised. While your child’s teacher is the expert in education, no one knows more about your child than you do. It’s just as important for parents to tell teachers about issues at home that may affect school performance as it is for teachers to report how children are doing in the classroom.

Learning Styles

LEARNING STYLES

CARES Programs & Resources

Personality & Learning Styles

New Canaan CARES with Alexandra Potts

Learn about personality and learning styles in this CARES program.

Additional Resources

Understanding Your Child's Learning Style

Grow by WebMD

Don’t panic if your son has trouble spelling or your daughter can’t sit still during history class. It may be that he or she simply has a different learning style. Every child learns in a slightly different way, experts say, and figuring out your child’s own learning style can help assure academic success.

Empowering Your Preschooler

EMPOWERING YOUR PRESCHOOLER

CARES Programs & Resources

How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen

CARES Program, Beth O'Brien - Head of Early Childhood at New Canaan Country School

Help your little kids grow into self-reliant big kids who are positively connected to their parents, teachers, siblings and peers. This program will equip you with strategies for communicating effectively with the young children in your life.

The Power and Purpose of Play

CARES Program, Beth O'Brien - Head of Early Childhood at New Canaan Country School

Beth O’Brien will share the various characteristics of different types of play and the specific skills each one builds. She will also offer guidance on how to foster opportunities and promote play for children. A recording of this program can be accessed here.

Promoting a Smooth Transition to Kindergarten (2019)

CARES Program

A presentation and conversation about preparation for kindergarten, including social, emotional, and developmental milestones.

Empowering Your Child

New Canaan CARES

A worksheet to help parents empower their children – learn about responsibility and building confidence.

Additional Resources

5 Empowering Ways to Get Your Kids to Listen

Parents.com

Having a hard time getting your children to follow directions? Me too.

Flying Solo: Raise an Independent Kid

Parents.com

It may be hard to hear, but there are times when your child is better off without you.

Growing Independence: Tips for Parents of Young Children

HealthyChildren.org

As you teach your child how to be independent, you also need to teach how to be safe.

If You Want Your Kid to Get a Good Job, Let Them Play More

Quartz

“Play is a primary, indeed a primal, way that we learn to understand and experience the world around us.”

Play is Key to Kids' Health, US Pediatricians Say

Web MD

Play is a crucial way for kids to develop social and mental skills, head off stress and build a healthy bond with parents.

What NOT To Do When Your Child Is Having a Tantrum

Child Mind Institute

Even when we know, as parents, how we should respond to a tantrum, in the heat of the moment we find it hard to resist doing the wrong thing — something that not only doesn’t work but makes things worse. Taking a moment to consider why it’s particularly crucial to avoid these responses, with some tips on how to do so, can help cement your resolve not to turn to them reflexively

College Readiness Transition

COLLEGE READINESS TRANSITION

CARES Programs & Resources

VIDEO: Under Pressure with Dr. Suniya Luthar

CARES Program

Why are students in affluent communities considered at risk, and what role does adult self-care play in all of this? Join CARES for a conversation with Dr. Suniya Luthar. She addresses why the rates of depression, anxiety and rule-breaking in high-performing communities are higher than the national average and provides us with tools to change the culture.

College Transition After the Drop-Off

CARES Program

Learn more about how the transition to college continues for both parents and students after dorm drop-off.

Additional Resources

7 Parent Tips on How to Prepared Your Student for College

Active Minds

Without a doubt, the transition to college can be overwhelming for some students. Coupled with the fact that many mental health issues often emerge during an individual’s early twenties, it’s important for parents to have a mental health checklist on hand. What can you as a parent do? Check out these tips on how to empower your student to successfully navigate the unfamiliar waters of college life

Eight Pieces of Wisdom for Parents Sending a Child Off to College

The Washington Post

After saying goodbye to your college student on move-in day, one of the hardest things to come to grips with at home is the yawning lack of information. You’re excluded from your student’s experience in a new, jarring way, and no one will invite you in except your student — and that’s only if they want to. That doesn’t mean you disappear from their lives; far from it. But it does mean you play a different role.

How Parents Are Robbing Their Children of Adulthood

The New York Times

Helicopter parenting, the practice of hovering anxiously near one’s children, monitoring their every activity, is so 20th century. Some affluent mothers and fathers now are more like snowplows: machines chugging ahead, clearing any obstacles in their child’s path to success, so they don’t have to encounter failure, frustration or lost opportunities.

Learning That My Children's College Choices Don't Define Them. Or Me.

The Washington Post

“It’s not just the competitive process of my child getting into school that I dread, but the competition among fellow parents. It can be equally intense, and I fear getting snagged by its sharp teeth.”

Preparing for College Emotionally, Not Just Academically

Child Mind Institute

The transition to college can be hard on kids’ mental health. Teenagers living away from home for the first time may experience academic stress while also trying to make new friends, build routines, and stay physically healthy. All these changes at once can be overwhelming for college kids.

Dear Parents: The Transition to College Can Be Rough (And That's Okay)

YourTeenMag.com

And while this is an emotionally wrenching period for you, the transition can be even harder for them. And I’m here to tell you that you don’t just wash your hands and surrender your parenting badge when you drive away from campus. For my kids, freshman year of college was a rocky couple of months when they needed more emotional support than probably any of us had anticipated.

Presentation Slides

PRESENTATION SLIDES

A Parent’s Guide to Modern Teen Dating
Build Extraordinary Relationships with Your Tween/Teen Through Daily Conversation – Amy Alamar, EdD
Has Gaming Taken Over?
How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen
Power and Purpose of Play – Beth O’Brien, Head of Early Childhood, New Canaan Country School
Reefer Sanity – Kevin A, Sabet, PhD
Riding the Roller Coaster of the Adolescent Brain – Ruth A. Potee, MD
Staying Calm in the Storm – Julie Hall, MBA, MS LMFT
Tantrums, Toys and Traditions – Barbara McLaughlin
Transition to Kindergarten – NCPS
What is (Wrong) Right with my Child – Alexandra Potts

Videos

VIDEOS

A Parent’s Guide to Modern Teen Dating
All Fortnited Out
Build Extraordinary Relationships with Your Tween/Teen Through Daily Conversation – Amy Alamar, EdD
Check Up from the Neck Up with Dr. Chris Bogart
College Transition After The Drop Off!
Endurance Parenting for Today
Friendship Matters: Fostering Connections in Childhood
Healthy Relationships are Learned
Help Your Child Get Organized & Plan Ahead for Success in School with Less Stress
How to Slay Together with Katherine Wintsch
How to Support Your Kids and Yourself When Dealing with Difficult Topics
How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen
Parenting QuaranTEENS into Growing Teens – High School PFA with Andree Palmgreen, LPC
Power and Purpose of Play – Beth O’Briend, Head of Early Childhood, New Canaan Country School
Preschool/Elementary: Positive Discipline
Raising Humans in a Digital World
Riding the Roller Coaster of the Adolescent Brain – Ruth A. Potee, MD
Social Skills Guide For Tweens
Staying Calm in the Storm – Julie Hall, MBA, MS LMFT
The Art of Raising Kids Today
The Panini Generation
The Ups, Downs, and All Arounds of Middle School Friendships with Dr. Lauren Pote
Transition to Kindergarten – NCPS
Under Pressure with Dr. Suniya Luthar
Understanding the Teenage Brain: The Keys to a Positive Relationship
What to Do With All This Screen Time – Diana Graber
What We Learned Along the Way – High School PFA with Dr. Michelle Albright
Women and Alcohol: A Community Conversation
Winter Survival Isolation Tips

Puberty

PUBERTY, SEX ED, & TEEN RELATIONSHIPS

CARES Programs & Resources

VIDEO: A Parent's Guide to Modern Teen Dating

NCHS - PFA General Meeting

This program was an open and honest conversation about modern teen dating. Emma Kate Freatman taught parents what teens wished their parents knew, what misconceptions teens think their parents have, and what questions teens wanted their parents to ask them about their dating lives. Parents left this PFA presentation with tips on how to start the conversation about dating with their teens, and how to keep the conversation going.
The slide deck Emma Kate Freatman used as a visual aid can be downloaded here.

VIDEO: Healthy Relationships are Learned

CARES Program, Ann Rodwell-Lawton, MSW from DVCCCT

This program will give you tools to help your child understand: what a healthy relationship looks and feels like, relationship skills including setting boundaries, the importance of healthy communication, and how to identify unhealthy relationships dynamics rooted in power and control.

Answering Your Child's Questions About Puberty and Sexuality

New Canaan CARES

Do NOT expect your middle schooler to ask you questions about puberty or sexuality, it may NEVER happen! You must open, and continue the series of many conversations. There is no such thing as starting the conversation too early.
There is age-appropriate information to share with your child – and remember that each child will be ready at a different age to receive it – and often in a different way.

Pubescent Development Chart

New Canaan CARES

A chart to help you as a parent understand the pubescent development of your child. Every child develops differently – with some genetic consistencies.

Teen Brain: Smart Kids, Foolish Choices

New Canaan CARES

Teens are doing their job as we as parents do ours – their brain is ill-equipped to do the planning without support from an adult – but is perfectly suited for innovating, social cuing, and learning.

Additional Resources

VIDEO: Consent - It's As Simple as TEA

Beat Seat Studios

Would you like a cup of tea?

How to Talk to Kids About Sex and Consent

Child Mind Institute

It’s important for parents to tell kids it’s not okay to pressure someone into going farther than they are ready for. And no one should feel they need to give in to pressure, either from a partner or from friends, to have sex if they’re not ready.

How to Talk to Kids About Sex

The Washington Post

Kids have five core needs when it comes to sexuality, Roffman explains. They need affirmation and unconditional love; information about healthy and unhealthy behaviors; clarity about values such as respect and integrity; appropriate boundaries and limits; and guidance about making responsible, safe choices.

Precocious Puberty

KidsHealth.org

Going through puberty early also can be hard for kids emotionally and socially. Girls with precocious puberty, for example, may be confused or embarrassed about getting their periods or having enlarged breasts well before any of their peers. They may be treated differently because they look older. Boys can become more aggressive and also develop a sex drive inappropriate for their age.

Puberty Resources

HealthyChildren.org

There are many opportunities during this time of life for you to talk to your child about what she’s experiencing. Your child needs to understand the physical changes that will occur in her body during puberty.

Talking to Your Child About Puberty

KidsHealth.org

Kids see and hear a lot about sex and relationships on TV and online. By the time they near puberty, they may be familiar with some advanced ideas. But talking about puberty is still an important job for parents because not all this other information is reliable.

Talking to Your Child About Puberty

KidsHealth.org

Kids see and hear a lot about sex and relationships on TV and online. By the time they near puberty, they may be familiar with some advanced ideas. But talking about puberty is still an important job for parents because not all this other information is reliable.

When and How to Talk to Kids About Sex

Psychology Today

Too many parents wait for the “right” time to come along for the talk, only to find that it never does—and then they don’t have the talk at all, or it only happens after their kid has already become sexually active, which is obviously too late. By starting when they’re young, you have a chance to ease into things and make sure your child has the information they need when they need it.

Why Are Girls Starting Puberty Earlier?

U.S. News - Health

We know that girls who go through puberty early are more likely to experience various medical and psychological problems, such as depression, obesity, eating disorders and even cancer when they’re older.

Teens and Romantic Relationships

Child Mind Institute

Teenagers can be prickly about their privacy, especially when it comes to something as intimate as romance. The potential for embarrassment all around can prevent us from giving them any advice for having healthy and happy relationships. Teenagers do look to us for guidance, though—even when they’d rather die than acknowledge that they are—and we can often have more influence than we realize.

Nutrition

NUTRITION AND HEALTH

CARES Programs & Resources

Bite Sized Tips

New Canaan CARES, Jill Castle

Feeding children is not easy! Keep these simple tips in mind so that your child is well-nourished and ready to learn.

Additional Resources

Good Mood Foods

Silver Hill Hospital

You probably have heard the expression “you are what you eat.” Certain foods are key components in the manufacture of powerful brain chemicals, called neurotransmitters. Neurotransmitters such as serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine may jog your memory, improve performance, improve
sleep and boost your mood.

Nutrition for Kids: Guidelines for a Healthy Diet

Mayo Clinic

Nutrition for kids is based on the same principles as nutrition for adults. Everyone needs the same types of nutrients — such as vitamins, minerals, carbohydrates, protein and fat. Children, however, need different amounts of specific nutrients at different ages. So what’s the best formula to fuel your child’s growth and development?

Body Image

BODY IMAGE & EATING DISORDERS

Body Image

National Eating Disorders Association

People with negative body image have a greater likelihood of developing an eating disorder and are more likely to suffer from feelings of depression, isolation, low self-esteem, and obsessions with weight loss.

What is Body Image?

National Eating Disorders Collaboration

Body image is a combination of the thoughts and feelings that you have about your body. Body image may range between positive and negative experiences, and one person may feel at different times positive or negative or a combination of both.

How to Help a Friend with Eating and Body Image Issues

National Eating Disorders Assocation

Addressing body image or eating problems in their beginning stages offers your friend the best chance for working through these issues and becoming healthy again. Don’t wait until the situation is so severe that your friend’s life is in danger. Your friend needs a great deal of support and understanding.

Screenagers

SCREENAGERS & INTERNET SAFETY

CARES Programs & Resources

Are You Smarter Than Your Cell Phone?

CARES Program, featuring Dr. Frank Bartolomeo, Ph.D., LCSW, Silver Hill Hospital

Dr. Frank Bartolomeo discusses how to talk to your teenager about social media, and how to gain insight into your child’s experience, mood, and interaction with others in the digital world.
Dr. Bartolomeo’s slides can be downloaded here. You can also download the rack card handed out at the program here.
Additional Resources:
#DetoxYourFeed with the Dove Self-Esteem Project
Trailer for Fake Famous on Netflix

Teens and Screen Use: When Screen Time is Too Much

CARES Program, Elizabeth Ortiz-Schwartz, MD

Research has shown that in general, one hour and no more than three hours per day, can result in an adequate degree of happiness and adjustment.

VIDEO: All Fortnited Out

CARES Program

How much is too video gaming? Video games are becoming an increasingly pressing issue as they consume more and more of kids’ time and attention. Hear from experts in the field and a young adult who struggled with video game overuse.

VIDEO: Raising Humans in a Digital World

CARES Program, author Diana Graber

Middle and High School parents will learn how to help their children use the digital world wisely. Leave with resources to help your child build a healthy relationship with technology. Topics will include safety concerns and online reputation.

VIDEO: What To Do With All This Screen Time

CARES Program, author Diana Graber

We are all using the internet and social media so much more now. Author Diana Graber will advise parents on how best to handle the increased screen time in this current climate, guide them on how to set limits when screens are the only way to connect and address parents’ worries about how families will get back to screen time limits once life returns to normal.

Technology: Managing & Monitoring with Confidence

CARES Program, Jake Kircher

The three rules of social media: (1) everything posted online is public, (2) there’s no such thing as anonymity online, only perceived anonymity, (3) there’s no such thing as online privacy, only perceived online privacy.

Additional Resources

12 Screen-less Gift Ideas Kids Will Love

ScreenagersMovie.com

Here are some unique gift ideas for the holidays to help promote off-screen time for kids and teens!

People Share Rules for Screens and Sleep

ScreenagersMovie.com

Almost 40% of youth and teens with mobile devices in their room report that they wake up and check it at least once a night. Teens who use social media longer than three hours a day were more likely to report going to bed after 11 pm and waking up during the night.

Gaming, A New Approach

ScreenagersMovie.com

Many teens who play a lot of video games also have happy, full lives—being social offline, doing other things for the challenge that lets them build needed self-competence, family time, and much more. When kids and teens have lots going on off the screen, it is a great sign of mental wellbeing! Yet, many hours on video games can be a red flag when there is very little happening outside of game time. Are they experiencing stressors offline for which gaming is an escape?

Values are the Secret

ScreenagersMovie.com

“No matter what is happening with my kids’ time on screens — including exposure to yucky stuff like upsetting media, unappealing role models, manipulative ads, and on and on — I know that my immediate family, our extended family, and friends, are often modeling and talking about positive values. And those values seep into my kids and will guide them through life.”

Back-to-School: Time to Set an Electronic Curfew

ScreenagersMovie.com

Forty percent of teens say that most school nights they get less than seven hours of sleep and there’s a strong association between more screen time and less sleep. Since 2012, when the prevalence of teens owning smartphones started to increase, the number of hours teens sleep has steeply decreased

Finally, Apple Releases Screen Time Controls

ScreenagersMovie.com

Apple’s operating system iOS 12 introduced Screen Time, a feature parents have been waiting for. With it, we have a new tool to help prevent excessive screen time for our youth, as well as ourselves.

Parenting Apps

ScreenagersMovie.com

Here are some apps, websites, and articles about screen time and internet safety.

Common Sense Media

CommonSenseMedia.org

Common Sense has been the leading source of entertainment and technology recommendations for families and schools. Every day, millions of parents and educators trust Common Sense reviews and advice to help them navigate the digital world with their kids. Together with policymakers, industry leaders, and global media partners, we’re building a digital world that works better for all kids, their families, and their communities.

Cyberwise: Parent/Child Tech Agreement

Add Your Heading Text Here

Using technology is an exciting privilege, but it is also a huge responsibility. This agreement is to help parents and teenagers discuss how to use technology safely and wisely.

How to Help Kids Deal with Cyberbullying

Child Mind Institute

Your child might be embarrassed to tell you if they’re being cyberbullied. Or they might be afraid you’ll make it worse. But if you find out it’s happening, it’s serious enough to do something about it.

Everyone Else Has One! Making Decisions About New Apps and Devices

RaisingDigitalNatives.com

Maybe your child came home from the first day of 6th grade saying that everyone else has a phone, or your fourth grader had a sleep-over and claims that all of the other kids have better gaming systems, or your seventh grader is the last one not posting on Tik Tok. Is the “everyone else” factor ever important to consider? What if the “everyone else” factor is all about waiting until a certain age for access and your independent and responsible kid is ready now?

Family Online Safety Institute

Family Online Safety Institute

Need help talking with your kids about online safety? Want to know about parental controls? Looking for a simple set of rules to use with your children? FOSI’s Good Digital Parenting provides you with videos, tip sheets, resources, blogs, and more.

Four Reasons Why Your Family Should Avoid Bedroom Media

YourTeenMag.com

Teens have become accustomed to the ubiquitous presence of digital media, which they rely on for connection, engagement, and entertainment—even when they are supposed to be sleeping. New research suggests that constant connection, especially when devices are in the bedroom, can have more serious effects that we may have anticipated.

Healthy Limits on Video Games

Child Mind Institute

The vast majority of children and adolescents in the United States play video games. Although many children play them in moderation, without adverse consequences, others become obsessed with gaming. Parents may become worried when a child is neglecting homework to play games, or is staying up all night gaming and is too tired to get up for school the next day.

VIDEO: Amy Alamar Discusses Kids and Gaming Disorder

Fox 61 News

Dr. Amy Alamar has worked in the field of education as a teacher, teacher educator, researcher, parent educator, and education reformer for over fifteen years. She has conducted significant research in the areas of student stress, parent involvement, learning and instruction, curriculum design and implementation, and using reflective practice to support engagement and communication. Watch Dr. Alamar on Fox 61 News talk about kids and gaming disorders.

How to Say "No" Effectively

ScreenagersMovie.com

Saying no and being able to tolerate the myriad of emotions that result, such as guilt, self-doubt, and sadness is challenging for many people. On top of that, the child may add on their own negative emotions to the “no,” such as anger and disgust. Having to tolerate any one of these emotions, let alone several of them at one time, is a major undertaking.

What Parents Should Know About the 'Constant Pressure' of Social Media for Teens

ABC News

For some parents, understanding the pressure of social media can be difficult, and as a result, some teens may feel they cannot talk to their parents about cyberbullying, body image problems and other struggles they face in their day-to-day life.

Teen Tech Lingo Parents Should Know

Cyberwise

Teens seem to add new words to their vocabulary every other day, and many of these are used online. Here’s a handy list to help you!

Unhooking from Video Games, Including Fortnite

ScreenagersMovie.com

Violent games, even non-gory ones like Fortnite, warrant conversations with our youth. Parents need to decide if they will allow such games in the home. Whatever decision is made, the rationale behind the decision should be shared with the kids. It sounds easy, but it can be tricky to verbalize these kinds of thoughts around our kids. Hearing our kids’ and teens’ input is also crucial. We want them to have chances to talk about all of this.

Why Your Girl Loves TikTok, and What You Should Know About It!

MediaGirls.org

TikTok videos are 15 seconds to 3 minutes long. An attractive aspect of the app is that it allows users to collaborate with each other. Users and their friends can make their videos together, adding another social feature to the app that Vine didn’t offer. The app’s user base, 50% of which being between the ages of 13-24, have created makeup application videos, adventurous challenges like these and self-deprecating skits about social awkwardness, mental health, etc. set to music.

Prevention 101: Youth Pledge

Internet Safety 101

Internet Safety 101® is a digitally-based internet safety resource designed to educate, equip and empower parents, educators and other adults with the knowledge and resources needed to protect children from Internet dangers including pornography, predators, cyberbullies and threats related to online gaming, social networking and mobile devices.